Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse,
and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled
in the dirt once or twice.
Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Failing
Growing up I didn’t have any idea of what I wanted to become. Life for me was something that I had to go through everyday ever since middle school. But strangely, coming into college, I aspired to become someone that will make a lot of money and support my mom and also make my whole family proud of me. But living in this debt-owing country, I am seeing that my dreams to make a lot of money is just a wishful dream. With this mentality, I’m seeing/believing myself turning into a failure and feeling sorry for my mom that I’m her failing son.
I told this to my mom once… she stopped her Korean drama, faced me with a serious face, and said, “I do not want you to give up because you’re failing. You must understand that there is a difference between ‘failing,’ which is something happens to everyone every day, and ‘being a failure,’ which is something that people think that no one should ever believe.”
Do you guys see yourself as “being a failure” and blaming it on others or being someone who takes a “failing” as a stepping stone to improve yourself?
My favorite quote is “don’t worry~ be happy~”; which I got from some commercial when I was young. Unfortunately, this quote is half flawed. “don’t worry~” is something that I do not agree upon. You should have some worries so that you take life seriously and better yourself through trial and errors of life, but I believe everyone should have a happy outlook on himself or herself and the failings to change oneself with a positive attitude.
Just know that with God, your true self, a spiritual being, is always perfect. ;)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Walls are closing in...
I am right now in a tough situation… My mind is going crazy and confused on what to do…
Ever since college started, my parents told me to go into the science field. The last term in college, my mom told me to forget about graduate school and go directly into pharmacy school. So for one whole year, I took classes at a local community college to complete few pre-requisites and then I applied. I didn’t get in…
Sigh…
Denzel Washington has once said to the Upenn’s 2011 graduation students that you will fail and fall, but when you do fall, fall forward into a direction of your goal. If I fall, fall forward towards the goal. Someone told me that even when I’m afraid or unsure, choose to move in a direction of my goal. Whenever I fall, stand up, brush myself off, and keep moving. So now, I registered for pharmacy technician certificate exam, which is September 1 of this year, to better my chances of getting in next year. I didn’t get in for 2011 pharmacy school, but that me falling forward, standing up and keep moving.
BUT now, my mom is wanting me to work at the carwash. The carwash requires an extreme amount of physical labor and its taxing my mom’s body. As her son, I cannot see my mom over exerting herself, then come back home dead tired. She talks about pain over her shoulder… as her son, what is the best action to take in this situation? I go and help her. I told her about this exam before, but even so, it doesn’t seem like … doesn’t seem like she understands the gravity of my situation for this exam. I’m not prepared, there are more information that I didn’t cover and it’s soon. … She keeps asking me to work there. She knows I’m very good with people and she knows I’m attracting more costumers… but what about my exam … but what about my future?
I asked if she can find someone to help out instead of me. She said she can find someone but I do not think she can find someone she can trust to take over the cashier. Everyone steals these days… So this is one side of the wall closing in on me. The other wall is my dad.
I had a fight with my dad last week. He has a very different view for my path and disagrees with the way my mom wants me to go. He told me to study and stop working at the carwash. I told him about mom and her struggles to continue her work there. He told me to stop worrying about adult problems and worry about you. It’s true that for a business person mindset I have, I usually do not care about people. I must see a benefit for me to invest my time and energy on something or someone… But this is my mother.
I feel so stuck right now… I feel like the two walls are closing in and I don’t know what to do… fail the exam and work at the carwash… dissatisfy my father’s standards and my chance to live a life where I can be proud of what I can become through hard-work or become someone who works at a carwash working almost 11 hours every day; except snowy and rainy days.
Ever since college started, my parents told me to go into the science field. The last term in college, my mom told me to forget about graduate school and go directly into pharmacy school. So for one whole year, I took classes at a local community college to complete few pre-requisites and then I applied. I didn’t get in…
Sigh…
Denzel Washington has once said to the Upenn’s 2011 graduation students that you will fail and fall, but when you do fall, fall forward into a direction of your goal. If I fall, fall forward towards the goal. Someone told me that even when I’m afraid or unsure, choose to move in a direction of my goal. Whenever I fall, stand up, brush myself off, and keep moving. So now, I registered for pharmacy technician certificate exam, which is September 1 of this year, to better my chances of getting in next year. I didn’t get in for 2011 pharmacy school, but that me falling forward, standing up and keep moving.
BUT now, my mom is wanting me to work at the carwash. The carwash requires an extreme amount of physical labor and its taxing my mom’s body. As her son, I cannot see my mom over exerting herself, then come back home dead tired. She talks about pain over her shoulder… as her son, what is the best action to take in this situation? I go and help her. I told her about this exam before, but even so, it doesn’t seem like … doesn’t seem like she understands the gravity of my situation for this exam. I’m not prepared, there are more information that I didn’t cover and it’s soon. … She keeps asking me to work there. She knows I’m very good with people and she knows I’m attracting more costumers… but what about my exam … but what about my future?
I asked if she can find someone to help out instead of me. She said she can find someone but I do not think she can find someone she can trust to take over the cashier. Everyone steals these days… So this is one side of the wall closing in on me. The other wall is my dad.
I had a fight with my dad last week. He has a very different view for my path and disagrees with the way my mom wants me to go. He told me to study and stop working at the carwash. I told him about mom and her struggles to continue her work there. He told me to stop worrying about adult problems and worry about you. It’s true that for a business person mindset I have, I usually do not care about people. I must see a benefit for me to invest my time and energy on something or someone… But this is my mother.
I feel so stuck right now… I feel like the two walls are closing in and I don’t know what to do… fail the exam and work at the carwash… dissatisfy my father’s standards and my chance to live a life where I can be proud of what I can become through hard-work or become someone who works at a carwash working almost 11 hours every day; except snowy and rainy days.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Mens day out
We big boys are going fishing! Blue fishing to be exact. Why? Because we big boys are bored…
I’ve gone blue fishing three times already and 1 out 3 times I went, it was a success. I caught only 4 blue fishes but if I had more energy I know I could have caught a lot more.
So the story begins with Elias and I talking over gchat about being bored and desiring to travel. We wanted to go around and not care about what we have left temporary in Philadelphia for the summer. We had decided to do something for this summer but not yet sure of exactly what. Elias then talked to few other guys and he decided that we should go blue fishing down in NJ.
So the people that are going are: Me, Elias, Andrew, Glory, Alex, and Eric. I’m not sure who else is going. I know there are 2 more that should be coming too. Dave and Matt dropped out… I don’t know why~
Best Friends
It’s strange to say but in all my 5 years in Drexel University, I would have to say I made only 2 best friends. For some people, they would say that I probably made more, but I think I have many “good” friends. I use “best” and “good” to differentiate/SEGREGATE (jk jk) between my friends.
So what does “best friend” mean to me? To me, a best friend is someone that likes to come over whenever just to hangout. They are someone I can be myself and not feel like I’m being studied or analyzed or judged. They are someone I can continuously make fun of, and they would enjoy it. They would have to “genuinely” laugh at all my dumb jokes and make me “genuinely” laugh as well. My best friend and I both have to acknowledge that we are “best” friends.
A “good” friend, to me, means that they are someone that likes to hang out whenever they want to hang out to do one specific thing. For example, I have few good friends that love to play tennis. So when they get bored, they usually call me up just to play tennis. We like to go out and eat but we do not have many common interests, so there is not much to talk about and we usually have to force a conversation.
Anyways~
With my very brief description about what it means to be my “good” friend to my “best” friend, let me introduce you to my two best friends that I made in my sophomore year in college. They both came to Upenn for the English-second-language one-year program. (I meet them both at the same time, so I’ll introduce them to you according to age)
First is Jakyoung Moon. She is 24 like me and she is the ditsy one. Her personality is somewhat like Christine Ho’s. Currently, she is a nursing major in Korea and soon she’ll be in Chicago for 6 months for some nursing program.
Next is Min Hee. Usually Koreans have 3 characters for their names, but rarely there are someone with only 2 characters or even 4. Min Hee is one of them. She is the stubborn and the clumsy one. She first came to Upenn to improve her English, but then she switched her original major, communications, to art. She transferred to an art school in Philadelphia. But during this time, I went to Georgia for 6months and this meant that Minhee had no one else to play with. So she decided to transfer back to korea for communications. She loves baseball and at first, she chose communication to be one of the sports broadcasters for baseball. Now, she is trained to translate both English and Korean for multilingual conferences. Currently, she is a flight attendant but now she wants to become an anchorwoman for a news station.
Here's all of us together: Me (top left), Min Hee (top right), Jakyoung (bottom left), Pastor James (bottom middle), and Ruiqi (bottom right). This was my goodbye dinner for me because I was going to be working in Athens, Georgia for a while.
I also have few friends who I consider almost “best” friends but not quite yet, so I’ll categorize them as “good good” friends.
They are Elias Quan, Justine Wan, Ryan Lee, Brian Pyles, and Andrew Wesolowski. There are many friends in GCC who are about to enter into this category.
So what does “best friend” mean to me? To me, a best friend is someone that likes to come over whenever just to hangout. They are someone I can be myself and not feel like I’m being studied or analyzed or judged. They are someone I can continuously make fun of, and they would enjoy it. They would have to “genuinely” laugh at all my dumb jokes and make me “genuinely” laugh as well. My best friend and I both have to acknowledge that we are “best” friends.
A “good” friend, to me, means that they are someone that likes to hang out whenever they want to hang out to do one specific thing. For example, I have few good friends that love to play tennis. So when they get bored, they usually call me up just to play tennis. We like to go out and eat but we do not have many common interests, so there is not much to talk about and we usually have to force a conversation.
Anyways~
With my very brief description about what it means to be my “good” friend to my “best” friend, let me introduce you to my two best friends that I made in my sophomore year in college. They both came to Upenn for the English-second-language one-year program. (I meet them both at the same time, so I’ll introduce them to you according to age)
First is Jakyoung Moon. She is 24 like me and she is the ditsy one. Her personality is somewhat like Christine Ho’s. Currently, she is a nursing major in Korea and soon she’ll be in Chicago for 6 months for some nursing program.
Next is Min Hee. Usually Koreans have 3 characters for their names, but rarely there are someone with only 2 characters or even 4. Min Hee is one of them. She is the stubborn and the clumsy one. She first came to Upenn to improve her English, but then she switched her original major, communications, to art. She transferred to an art school in Philadelphia. But during this time, I went to Georgia for 6months and this meant that Minhee had no one else to play with. So she decided to transfer back to korea for communications. She loves baseball and at first, she chose communication to be one of the sports broadcasters for baseball. Now, she is trained to translate both English and Korean for multilingual conferences. Currently, she is a flight attendant but now she wants to become an anchorwoman for a news station.
Here's all of us together: Me (top left), Min Hee (top right), Jakyoung (bottom left), Pastor James (bottom middle), and Ruiqi (bottom right). This was my goodbye dinner for me because I was going to be working in Athens, Georgia for a while.
I also have few friends who I consider almost “best” friends but not quite yet, so I’ll categorize them as “good good” friends.
They are Elias Quan, Justine Wan, Ryan Lee, Brian Pyles, and Andrew Wesolowski. There are many friends in GCC who are about to enter into this category.
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